I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
