If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
