the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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