Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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