She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
