Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
