She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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