Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
