words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just gargled with NyQuil
We are all done wearing pants today
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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