nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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