Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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