Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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