Pappa wants mamma naked
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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