i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
