She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
