yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
