um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
