google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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