College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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