I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
