I can tuck mytits in my pants
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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