I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
