Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
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I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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