you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
