So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
