im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize