I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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