Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
