just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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