Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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