I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
