Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize