I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
