We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
please come you make the beer taste better
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
