if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
