it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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