Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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