Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
