Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
