Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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