He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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