Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
