just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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