Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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