i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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