Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
