I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i need some magic done to my vagina
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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