even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
