Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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