So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
