The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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