i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
