Small penises have feelings too.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
