I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
