I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
