Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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