it hurts more in the daytime
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize