She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
