If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
