It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
