i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
