I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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