is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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