That's intense
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
